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2022.01.21 23:44 SomeKindof_Wonderful To You, From me
This is the real long apology I would like to give each and every one of you but after I wrote it all I couldn't bring myself to send it . So I will write it here. If I ever do get another chance to apologize I will just say "I'm sorry for anything" and hope it's enough. It's been hard for me to move on from all this because I haven't got to apologize.
I wasn’t crazy in 2014 and I wasn’t crazy this time around. The only thing was the in 2014 I thought my ex was responsible for all the crazy. I thought he put some kind of witchcraft on me because he wanted me back. For 6 years I just thought I was crazy and accepted that maybe my ex was the one trying to harm me. After I started to get better I remembered back and realized it I was never crazy the stuff happened and though my husband had his in part in making my life a living hell back during that time it didn’t explain the crazy that happened on WNM. So when I got better I decided to come back and see if anything was the same. If I was really crazy. Quite a few times I got to the point where I felt that same fear I felt so many years ago. So I would leave because I wasn’t convinced 100% that it was real. Each time I came back the crazy got crazier to the point where everything was just unbelievable. Some things were planted in my head and my head created a story from it but I always kept the real from the not real. The facts from the not facts. I knew it was real someone could hear my thoughts and how does one explain that. I know I couldn’t. I tried many time not to fall back into the craziness I felt back then but at the end I ended up back there. The only thing is I just didn’t stay there that long. I can’t to this day understand what horrible thing I did for anyone to want cause me so much heartache and misery. You wanted to break me you did. Twice now. I did want to understand what the crazy was and why it was happening and how was it possible but I didn’t and probably never will. When on social media elsewhere in my head I get scared that everyone on the other end of my screen is there to hurt me like they did on WNM. I hear some of the same voices in my head when reading messages as I did on WNM. In that moment I wonder is it them still trying to hurt me or is it just in my head and I’m just still traumatized by all of it. When I can’t convince myself that it isn’t the same people I stop talking to them. I may be pushing innocent people away that has nothing whatsoever to do with the crazy I experienced on WNM. I do hope that one day I forget that whole experience and it goes back to the very back of my mind and I can move forward without that fear.
2014 To Cray ~ I’m sorry if in the past me telling Muffy about that incident caused you any heartache with her because I told her that. I know what heartache feels like and I’m truly sorry about that part. I’m not sorry how I reacted to you for offending me but am sorry if when I took it further and told Muffy if it messed up anything between you and her and that may have caused you heartache.
To BVB ~ I’m not sure what I could have done to you but I remembered one night that our conversation was kind of off and so it makes me wonder if you were a part of all the crazy too. I can’t imagine what I did other than really truly care about you. I was in reality really crazy about you. I am sorry also for anything I have no I idea about what could have possibly caused you to want to cause me so much pain. You were successful if that was your goal. For the next few years I was lost and thinking I was crazy.
2020 Mark ~ I’m sorry I acted out of anger and did what I did to you. I don’t apologize for getting upset you sent me that pic and I don’t apologize for getting upset you kept bringing it up as if I wanted you to send me that pic. I’m just sorry for acting out in anger and posting that stuff which didn’t matter because no one saw it but the fact I posted it that is what I apologize for. I’m 100% sure you were part of the crazy as well and well your revenge was so much more than mine was so good for you, you got me back big time. Because there were times I wanted not to feel the hurt I was going thru that I was just ready to give up and I didn’t want my kids to blame me if they knew I took my life the normal way. If I left the world by some natural way they would hate me for it. So I forced food down my mouth and hoped I would die of heartache or something awful because I force fed myself. Nothing happened though I just gained a lot of weight but I can like I did after the first crazy lose it again. I’m telling you this so you can hopefully be satisfied knowing your goal for revenge was successful.
Ajay - To you the person that the instant you came into my inbox I fell head over heels for. I am not sure the why the what the anything but from that first day you stole my heart. I’m sorry to you for anything whatsoever I did to you to cause you to want to hurt me along with the others. All I did was love you way more than I should. But for whatever that I did that I’m unaware I did I’m sorry for it. I’m sorry if I knew you in the past back when the last time the crazy happens on WNM and I caused you some sort of harm. I’m sorry if anything I did this time around too. You made me remember how beautiful it felt to love someone again. You also reminded me how painful it is to try to stop too. I know eventually that hurt will go away and be buried in the very back of my heart or wherever it goes but I know it will. I wish everyone would tell me what I did to y'all to hate me so much. I wish I knew how the crazy was possible. But I never will regret going back and realizing after all these years I was never crazy. I will never regret meeting you. You will forever and always be that beautiful nightmare that changed my life for ever. Nightmare because the knowing you had any part in the crazy. Because if you hadn’t then it would just have been beautiful. After it all I met someone who reminded me of you in every way and at the beginning it was helpful for me to talk to him because I missed you so much. No matter what he wanted I didn’t care because as long as in my head I pretended it was you my heart was a little bit content. Eventually I had to give him up because eventually I couldn’t deal with it. So I asked him to send me a picture so my my brain could stop pretending it was you. I mean I wasn’t being mean to that person I told him the only reason why I was talking to him was because he reminded me of someone and he was perfectly fine with it. But if it makes you feel content knowing that you hurt me not because you weren’t into me because that’s not what hurt me it was the knowing you had any part of the craziness to hurt me. Losing your friendship the very first time was what broke my heart into a million pieces. Losing your friendship the second was a little less devastating because then I realized that you were teamed up with those trying to hurt me all along. Still broke my heart but then I realized I it was crazy to love someone that tried to inflict so much pain on me. That was something I was so good at still loving people who hurt me both physically and mentally. That’s how I stayed married so long like a dummy because I am that person that no matter what someone did to me me loving the person was bigger than me loving myself enough to let them out of my heart. So just please accept my apology for anything and everything because even if you did mean to hurt me I never meant to hurt you nor would I want you to hurt. I never ever want you to feel like how I felt this past year.
Ash ~ I’m sorry for after me already certain you wanted to hurt me I continued to talk to you. I despite knowing you knew of and took part in the crazy I still cared for you as a friend. When we did talk I was happy to talk to you. I looked forward to it most times and missed you when we didn’t too. I wholeheartedly considered you as a friend even though I had known you were part of the crazy too. I still don’t know why I have no idea what I could have done to you ever but here I am to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry for anything that may have caused you to want to hurt me in the way you did. I wish I could have remained friends with you but that is just as crazy as me still loving Ajay knowing he wanted to hurt me too. So losing you as a friend was hard to because I had got used to having you around. So if hurt you in anyway that caused you to want to hurt me I’m sorry too.
Zombie ~ I’m sorry to you for whatever if anything I did to you to cause you to want to participate in wanting to hurt me along with the others. I’m not sure but I think you was a part of it all as well. Why I don’t know. You and I never talked in the past where I could have possibly did anything to hurt you. But all the same I’m sorry to you for anything. Except defending myself from anything ill you said towards me. I’m just sorry for anything I don’t know of that would have caused you any hurt in anyway. I don’t usually want to hurt anyone I’d rather see them happy than hurt. There was a point I saw you were happy and I was genuinely happy to see found some happiness in your life. Everyone deserves to be. So I’m sorry.
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2022.01.21 23:44 it6585 I got raided :(
We got offlined, they stole our car, a small base we has across the street and stashed our car there. Probably won’t touch the game for a while but i come back im probably going to be less friendly, it was a good two months.
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2022.01.21 23:44 Darknessryler03 My lego Minecraft world so far
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2022.01.21 23:44 asdgf324123 FMT and brain function
has anyone seen any cognitive differences maybe similar to donor of FMT? This includes things like memory, learning or any other cognitive functions.
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2022.01.21 23:44 PopcornSurvivor What?! Does no one in RPG play with ANTS? This is the only defense we have against ANY enemies targeting us, rather give us control of the turret as driver in exchange or don't go ahead with this. This is so wrong, how could this atrocity be even conceived?
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2022.01.21 23:44 luisandhisrap Lofty.ai has rolled out rent payments in Algo... Buy tokenized RE and get paid Algo daily!
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2022.01.21 23:44 Dan-369 What is your favorite saved comment?
2022.01.21 23:44 adv0cacyenthusiast PETITION REGARDING COVID TRANSITION
HERE IS THE PETITION: https://chng.it/fQRVVXqSLc
After UCLA's announcement of going back primarily in-person, there are students who are concerned about returning to campus. These students include, and are not limited to, disabled students, immunocompromised students, out-of-state students, international students, and students who do not want to risk exposure. Online, without a doubt, can affect student's mental health and I would love more than anything to move back in. BUT, moving in in the MIDDLE of the quarter during midterms week is beyond unreasonable. This can lead to physical and mental stressors to students. Plus, if we move back in right now, there is a great chance that cases are going to rise which can either lead to us going back online again –– presenting more inconveniences for OOS and international students –– and/or prompting us to go online for the spring quarter.
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2022.01.21 23:44 Cartoony_Boy Completed a collab :)
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2022.01.21 23:44 IAM_NEAR Cheddar Sale On Skyward Finance
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2022.01.21 23:44 tyw7 Comparing the COVID vaccine to the One Ring... Errr... Great going Bloomberg.
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2022.01.21 23:44 sad_dog_lady Examples of Urban Renewal/Revitalization projects?
I have spent several days trying to find a subject for a case study and am at my wit's end. I thought I would see if anyone could make a suggestion.
Basically, I am looking for an urban renewal project that is completed, and focused on a specific area or neighbourhood (not something singular like a park or bridge). I have been struggling to find anything with more than 1-2 peer-reviewed articles and I need a lot more than that, so I guess it would need to be larger scale. Can be anywhere in the world.
If anyone has any suggestions on things they have come across, I would be forever grateful.
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2022.01.21 23:44 domotobin I moved my phone along a scanner while it played a Moky clip. Looks pretty neat
2022.01.21 23:44 Tacobell-Breakfast Who is your least favorite GTAO content creator?
2022.01.21 23:44 CDfelinus I wanna share some of my drawings from last year. Hope you like it.
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2022.01.21 23:44 DrRockso- 24MF4F looking for NSA or FWB
Hi there! We’re a young fit couple looking for someone to join us in some fun. Preferably a switch who would like to dom or be dom’d by my gf. Your photos will get ours :)
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2022.01.21 23:44 Romloz Archive of Logunivia #9
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2022.01.21 23:44 TayK9 Lookin good
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2022.01.21 23:44 Concerned_Person625 SMTV posters?
I was in a live stream of SMTV with some people when someone brought up posters. Apparently there were some posters created for SMTV and apparently some VAs were involved. I’ve never heard of these and I was wondering if anyone here had any information on them
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2022.01.21 23:44 fleezybabyy Projecting from Windows to Roku
When i project to Windows from Roku, my PC adds the TV as an additional display, not as a mirror of my desktop.
How can I force it to mirror? My TV and computer are not in the same room, and I can't see my TV to control it from where my computer is.
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2022.01.21 23:44 crystal_clearit808 I'm at my limit
Just got over a 14 days chs episode. Had an endoscopy/biopsy done to make sure I didn't have damage and check for celiacs. Well the damn biopsy spot bled out and I was throwing up blood and have to get 2 bags.
I'm still getting sick (not blood any more) but I'm at my limit. School started this week, I can't work, I can't pay attention to the online videos. I'm so sick of being sick.
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2022.01.21 23:44 mathanjbp Party pay $25
2022.01.21 23:44 msfritz1 A discord for tomfoolery and such
https://discord.gg/RxncfEUZRH This server is a no-rules server about anything. It's completely unorganized, and that's the art of it. We encourage hacking on video games and trolling. Once we get enough people, we will start planning server raids on other servers. If you want mod, just ask
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2022.01.21 23:44 bucket--bot total
2022.01.21 23:44 Yellow__Bonnie You ever wonder that the seconds we were born. We started dying
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