I am so tired. Of fucking, everything.

2022.01.25 04:21 Mediocre_Level_1371 I am so tired. Of fucking, everything.

Of school. Of having to pretend that I care anymore, of having to act like I'm not literally just waiting this out. I hate getting homework, cuz when I get home and try to actually work on it, I can't seem to focus for more than like 10 minutes, max. And I feel guilty and lazy and all that shit if I do something else, so I'm sitting there, staring at the paper all night, doing nothing.
I'm tired of being confused, of not knowing who I am. And it's SO annoying when I hear something like "you'll figure it out eventually" like OK BUT WHEN THE FUCK IS THIS "EVENTUALLY'? I feel like nothing. Like there is no "myself." Am I a girl? Guy? Neither, both, something else? No fucking idea. What I am, is annoyed. And tired. And empty and angry and sad.
I know that I'm prone to read into things way more than what's actually there in some desperate hope to find some evidence that something like, magical exists. Like when I had the same dream for the 4th time, "oh it's gotta mean something right like the first time I had this dream was several years ago maybe this isn't just a dream maybe I'm like seeing glimpses of an alternate reality/past life or whatever." Shit like that, it's annoying and I wish I'd stop. "Oh you're just really creative" but im not. Trying to write stories has taught me, I have not had an original creative thought in fucking ever.
I feel like this life doesn't even belong to me, and I can feel it. I'm literally just a passenger, watching shit go by, unable to actually stop and live my own life because my own life doesn't even fucking exist! I'll see something, a real life place or a scene from a movie or some old video tape from someone else's past or some shit, and it tears me apart and I can't even fully fucking explain why and actually be taken fucking SERIOUSLY because normal people don't constantly think "wow I'm not real none of this is real damn I wish I could get back to reality."
I JUST WANT TO FUCKING BE NORMAL AND OKAY AND I WANT TO MATTER AND MAKE SOMETHING OF MYSELF INSTEAD OF BEING A LAZY PIECE OF SHIT BUT I HAVE NO GODDAMN IDEA HOW
FUCK!!
Maybe I just need to sleep, it is 1:15 a.m. after all. I don't necessarily wanna go to sleep, but I read something creepy early and so I'm paranoid as fuck right now. Also got school in a few hours, I guess. Y'all have a good day/night/whatever
submitted by Mediocre_Level_1371 to Vent [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 04:21 cspybbq Import Duties and ICMS (VAT) For Packages to Brazil

Import Duties and ICMS (VAT) For Packages to Brazil submitted by cspybbq to Brazil [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 04:21 Active-Heron-8898 A horror version of Toy Story

submitted by Active-Heron-8898 to tvtropes [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 04:21 loving_linds89 Globe Fire Pit

Globe Fire Pit submitted by loving_linds89 to pics [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 04:21 johnadams773 Oh and I made this instead of doing the things I forgot to do

Oh and I made this instead of doing the things I forgot to do submitted by johnadams773 to adhdmeme [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 04:21 National-Vegetable-2 How a wheel of hard cheese like Parmesan is cut at a factory

How a wheel of hard cheese like Parmesan is cut at a factory submitted by National-Vegetable-2 to Cheese [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 04:21 ItzRajiv Pew pew pew pew 👀

Pew pew pew pew 👀 submitted by ItzRajiv to CrazyFuckingVideos [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 04:21 DaddyBackPain Today was a painful day I had to take my full pain prescription dose

Usually I take only 3 10mg oxycodone/apap a day. I’m prescribed 4. I always like to take less but today was pretty painful had to get a lot done and there was a lot of sitting involved. At least I have yet to need more than prescribed since starting with my new doctor early December he’s a blessed man.
submitted by DaddyBackPain to ChronicPain [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 04:21 karthick_1394 Need help regarding rx570

I'm thinking of buying a used rx 570 4GB soon.
Is rx570 enough for 1080 60fps high quality gaming ?
I wanted to play games like red dead redemption , gta 5, witcher 3 ,etc. Wont be playing any multiplayer games.
submitted by karthick_1394 to IndianGaming [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 04:21 Hairy-Ad8599 Benny Vs Rocket!!

Benny Vs Rocket!! submitted by Hairy-Ad8599 to bennyproductions [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 04:21 Financial_Archer_491 Just went to a new psychiatrist and he told me I never had ADHD and that I am dissociating, but I'm am still confused...

I was born in an Indian household and my parents always put a lot of pressure on me to perform well in school when I was younger. It was pretty bad. My father was pretty aggressive and would verbally abuse us every single day and sometimes also physically abuse us. He and my mom had an arranged marriage and it is a disaster. They fight every single day. Thankfully I(F23) live with my boyfriend(M25) now.
As a kid, I would use daydreaming as an escape as there was nowhere else to go. I went inside my own head because it felt safer there.
BUT...
When you dissociate, aren't your thoughts supposed to be more comfortable than reality?
Sometimes they are. Sometimes they are terrifying. I find myself in a storyline in which I am a completely different person in a completely different family. Sometimes this family is great, but most of the time this family does horrible things to me. I feel all the emotions from these thoughts. Anger, stress, fear, and sadness. I don't know how to get out of my own head.
The psychiatrist was right about my misdiagnosis. I was diagnosed with ADD when I was 14 and now I'm almost 24 and reconsidering. Medications never worked for me.
But why are my dissociation thoughts so scary and negative? Does anybody have the same issue?
submitted by Financial_Archer_491 to Dissociation [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 04:21 ACoolWatermelon I can’t imagine his face when he gets home

I can’t imagine his face when he gets home submitted by ACoolWatermelon to KarmaForBrats [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 04:21 Eddielif05 I need tips on good drag race cars. Someone who has a good tip? should preferably cost below 700 000cr

submitted by Eddielif05 to ForzaHorizon [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 04:21 Miserable_Degenerate Did somebody say silage? I'm not sure how many bales there are, but my fps says it's too many.

submitted by Miserable_Degenerate to farmingsimulator [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 04:21 alberthere Thanks, I hate Campbell’s Thai Chicken Negroni

Thanks, I hate Campbell’s Thai Chicken Negroni submitted by alberthere to TIHI [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 04:21 Motor-Ad-8858 2021 Corruption Perceptions Index reveals a decade of stagnating corruption levels amid human rights abuses and democratic decline - Transparency.org

2021 Corruption Perceptions Index reveals a decade of stagnating corruption levels amid human rights abuses and democratic decline - Transparency.org submitted by Motor-Ad-8858 to Freedom [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 04:21 iSumDumHoe [NA] Silver MID/TOP/JGL lf duo

ign: JessiesCracker
submitted by iSumDumHoe to LeagueConnect [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 04:21 Plz_dont_judge_me What are the worst and best things about ADHD?

submitted by Plz_dont_judge_me to AskReddit [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 04:21 mariolartplayer Government bond yield in the 80s

I heard that the government bond yield was like 15% in the 80s, wouldn't that cause a huge deflation tho? Because noone is gonna take a loan if interest rates are that high
submitted by mariolartplayer to NoStupidQuestions [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 04:21 El_Mucho_Danko SEND VEER‼️‼️‼️‼️😈🤝😈

submitted by El_Mucho_Danko to SCJerk [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 04:21 ChahmedImsure Modest Mouse - Back to the Middle (Indie Rock)

Modest Mouse - Back to the Middle (Indie Rock) submitted by ChahmedImsure to treemusic [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 04:21 BenjobiSan Who else thinks we need a show where Morgan Freeman narrates conversations between HR, management, and the employee?

submitted by BenjobiSan to antiwork [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 04:21 Negative-Detail-3565 fav song off of fighting demons (album)?

i love a lot of them but i gotta go with feel alone the vibe is crazy. what’s your favorite?
submitted by Negative-Detail-3565 to JuiceWRLD [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 04:21 moonwalkermel A cross post from another sub but thought this belonged here nonetheless: )

submitted by moonwalkermel to pnsd [link] [comments]


2022.01.25 04:21 youngsexymadafaka How can I handle being dumped by a friend whose family I am close to?

I told a friend that I liked her but she didn’t like me back. I’m really close to their family so I chose that we’d continue to be friends. We still see each other all the time because we go do sports together then eat after. So for a long time, people were wondering if we were dating. Then people asked (mostly her family) and she answered no and that she dumped me. Now I don’t know how to confront her family who I am close to. I’m thinking that they would think I’m only being with them because I’m being a sucker for her. It’s a very new and rare experience for me so I need your advice on how I could handle this.
submitted by youngsexymadafaka to dating_advice [link] [comments]


http://parakhinamarina.ru